PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS For years now, I've been mulling over whether or not you can actually have a male and female, nonsexual, relationship. You know, your best friend is a guy if you're a gal and visa versa. One of you slaps something against your thighs when you walk, well, if you're lucky. The other just wiggles when you walk. The advantages of having a best friend of the oposite sex are numerous. First off, being best friends, no matter what sex, means being able to be honest, forthright and sometimes brutally candid with each other. There are no barriers to what you can say to eathother. You can agree to disagree and not have to be clones with the same opinions. The great thing about having a male best friend, is he does see things refreshingly different than most females. Sorry if you think I'm being stereotypical, but that's the truth according to ME. Men and women are different animals. But that's another thought for later. You can ask your best guy friend "Does my butt look big in these pants?" and he's gonna answer from a mans perspective! When I look at my butt or my best girl friends butt in those white pants, I think "FAT FAT FAT,ewwww!". But my best guy friend goes "Wow! That makes your butt look out there!" They want to see our butt looking big!?!?! Your best guy friend can tell you exactly what a man wants to see. This also applies to what a man might think. We women, again I go being stereotypical, so sue me, have a tendency to be a bit to revealing. We think we can tell a man our closest guarded secrets early on, when they would rather hear them 10 years after you've been married. So run your best guy friend thru a trial session, him being the role of THE MAN. If he gasps and runs out of the room when you tell him that you have a sixth toe, you know this is one thing not to tell your date tonight after desert. You can bounce all these concerns of what to and what not to tell your prospective date off your best guy friend. He'll tell you when to shut up without worrying that he won't get none tonight. The only problem with having someone of the opposite sex for a best friend is jealousy. It's natural even for same sex best friends to get jealous of anyone taking your time away from them. But throw in the added ingredient of being of the opposite sex and you're asking for mayhem. When he or she starts feeling that normal jealousy, in comes the thoughts of "Uh oh, maybe I don't like this person just as my best friend!". They start entertaining notions of how you would be much better off with them. Face it, most the time you would be better off with your best friend, you have so much in common, you can talk. The only thing missing is the akwardness and sex. Plus, being our best friend, they get to hear all the ups and downs of the new relationship we're in. They become biased against that jerk who won't open the doors, take off his socks for sex, and generally doesn't appreciate you. Your best friend sees and feels your hurt everytime that bastard leaves the toilet seat up. Your best friend would never do that!!! But in comes reality. You break up with that jerk you've been seeing and you get drunk with your best friend of the opposite sex. Your best friend, of course being a best friend, comforts you and let's you cry on their shoulder. But holding you just feels a little bit too good, not so brotherly anymore. If the kiss, or pass, doesn't happen right now, it's just around the corner. Within days, you're flirting more with each other, heck you're single and you start looking at your best friend of the opposite sex as more too. It's inevitable. But being best friends, the pass, the kiss, something happens and you are both aware of the situation. Something just feels different. So you discuss the posibilities. What it would be like to be together, how maybe you could just try it and not ruin the friendship. You both think okay, but I really don't want to loose you as my best friend. Now you make a discision, to take the next step towards something more, or to keep a rein on it. If you've decided to make the plunge, it's almost like not being with your best friend anymore. You're more carefull about what you say, how you act. No more picking your nose or farting in front of each other. You start wearing less "hobag" underwear and go buy a whole new set of undies you hate! Your best friend stops partying so much because he/she knows it bothers you, they stop flirting all together so you won't feel insecure. Then here's the big one, you have SEX! It's either great, or nothing like you expected, you laugh to hard trying to do it and completely loose the mood. Once this has happened, it's damn hard to go back. Do you stay the whole night or will they get offended if you get up and go home? He/She knows you hate staying after and cuddling, you're a bed hog, they know that. But staying the whole night is part of the ritual of being a "couple". Their snoring bugs you and you really would just like to be alone. So what happens now? You've already jeapordized the relationship with your best guy friend. And on top of that you don't have your best friend to talk to cause it's about him as your boyfriend! Honestly, I've never gone past the initial attraction part with any of my best male buddies and taken it to having the big sex step. Never screwed it up that way, but the attraction kills the friendship just as dead. It either goes forward to something more or one person starts thinking they are really in love. Or that ex boyfriend becomes not so ex anymore and feelings really get hurt. I don't know how it ends! That's why I mull over it and over it and over it! I guess you just hope you get to keep him. ;)